When the Bully Wears a Suit: Navigating Patriarchy in the Workplace

By Janis Hillard

Workplace bullying doesn’t always look like shouting or public humiliation. Sometimes it’s subtle—the idea you shared being credited to someone else, the micro-corrections (and aggressions) that chip away at your confidence, or the quiet resistance when you take up space. For Black women and women of color, these experiences are far too common—and they often trace back to the same source: patriarchy, the ultimate bully.

Patriarchy shows up at work as entitlement disguised as leadership, control disguised as “standards,” and exclusion disguised as “fit.” It also shows up in subtle ways like the condescending tone in a meeting, the credit quietly stolen, the feedback that’s more about tone than talent. It’s the invisible force that tells us to stay pleasant, quiet, and grateful.

And the message is clear: don’t challenge, don’t feel too deeply, and definitely don’t be too you.

But here’s the thing: our authenticity is not the problem — it’s the antidote. It’s what reminds us that we belong, even in rooms designed to make us doubt it. Because when you hold onto who you are, you protect your peace and your purpose. You remind yourself that your voice, your intuition, and your values are not negotiable.

Coping and Thriving Strategies for Women of Color:

• Document everything. Keep notes on interactions that feel off. Documentation gives you power and clarity.

• Find your allies. Safe coworkers—especially other women or culturally aware colleagues—can become your mirror and support system.

• Don’t internalize the noise. A bully’s goal is control, not truth. Let their behavior reveal them, not you.

• Ground yourself outside of work. Therapy, journaling, prayer, or movement—whatever keeps you connected to your wholeness.

• Set your line early. You don’t have to match aggression with aggression, but you can match it with calm but assertive boundaries.
  

Patriarchy may run the system, but it doesn’t define your strength. Every time you choose integrity over intimidation, you remind the workplace (and yourself) what real power looks like.