The Miseducation of Professionalism: What We Were Taught, What We Know, and What We’re Reclaiming

Written by Janis Hillard |

Somewhere along the way, being “professional” became a code word for stiff, too polished, “putting on”, being inauthentic, or in pejorative terms – “acting white.”

We’ve been so conditioned to believe that to be taken seriously, we must talk a certain way like lowering our voices, softening our tone, and over-explain ourselves to avoid being seen as “angry” or “aggressive.” We’ve watched others speak freely, while we consider the risk of being labeled “too much” or “not enough.” And in response, many of us have built careful personas that feel more acceptable—but far from authentic. 

But let’s be honest: being “professional” hasn’t always felt like safety. Instead, it’s felt like a set of unspoken rules designed to keep us small, quiet, and polished in ways that make others comfortable but leave us disconnected from ourselves.

That kind of pressure is exhausting. And it’s based on a definition of professionalism that broken and untrue.

Because true professionalism isn’t about performance. It’s not about erasing culture, personality, or truth. It’s not about being rigid, robotic, or quiet. And it certainly isn’t about abandoning your identity at the door.

Professionalism—real professionalism—is about respect. It’s about being dependable, consistent, communicating clearly, honoring your role, and taking responsibility for how you show up. It’s showing care for your work and the people around you – whether you work at a fast-food joint or you’re an operations manager in corporate.

You don’t have to shrink to be seen as competent. You don’t have to choose between being real and being respected. You can be professional and still laugh loudly, speak plainly, wear your hair how it grows, and are entitled to your opinions. You can be firm without being feared. You can express emotion without being dismissed.

And yes, I know that we are scrutinized the most. I know that no matter what, we will always have a fine-toothed comb on us and our work.

But here’s what I would like for you – the reader – to take away from this article:

Professionalism isn’t a liability—it’s a leadership skill. And when paired with true authenticity, it builds trust and opens the door for others who look like us to show up fully, too. It also sends a quiet message to those in charge that: this is what professionalism can look like. You’re reminding them that it doesn’t have to be narrow, sanitized, or built on fear.

So no, you don’t have to fear being yourself at work. You just need to reclaim what professionalism really means—and give yourself permission to do it and do it well.