The Illusion of Professionalism: How Teyana Taylor Exposes the Policing of Black Women

By: Dr. Lisa Marie Lee

Image from @teyanataylor

Yet again, we’re watching a Black woman get corrected, not for doing something wrong, but for refusing to accept what was done to her.

When Teyana Taylor was shoved by security at the Academy Awards, her response was simple:

Don’t put your hands on me.

That should’ve been the moment.

Clear.

Done.

But that’s not how this works.

Now it’s “incidental.”

Now it “escalated.”

Now her tone is the issue.

So the shove disappears and her response becomes the story.

That shift? That’s the pattern.

“Professionalism” gets thrown around like it means the same thing for everybody.

It doesn’t.

Some people get range. Others get rules.

Some people get to be direct.Others get told to soften it.

Same behavior. Different labels.

So no, this isn’t about how people act.

It’s about who gets correctedand who gets understood.

And let’s not skip over what actually happened.

She set a boundary.

Not loud. Not chaotic.

Clear.

Don’t touch me.

So why are we talking about how she said it…instead of why it happened at all?

That’s where things get flipped.

The action gets excused. The response gets picked apart.

And now the person who spoke up is the one being questioned.

Then there’s the part people really don’t want to say out loud.

Even her joy got checked.

Same night. Same room.

She’s celebrating people. Showing love. Being present.

And somehow… still too much.

So what’s the expectation?

Be there, but don’t be seen too much.

Speak, but not too boldly.

Feel, but not out loud.

At some point, it stops being about behaviorand starts being about control.

Take the cameras away, and this doesn’t change.

It just gets quieter.

Meetings. Feedback. Performance conversations.

Same pattern.

Say less. Do less. Be less.

Or get labeled.

So how do we actually address it?

Not with another statement. Not with “we’ll do better.”

Start here:

Call it out in real time. If someone crosses a line, address that first. Not the reaction.

Stop policing tone more than behavior. If the message is valid, deal with the message.

Check your instinct to label. Before calling someone “too much,” ask, too much for who?

Make space for full presence.Not a smaller, quieter version that makes everyone else comfortable.

And most importantly, hold the right person accountable.

Every time.

Because once accountability is clear,the narrative can’t be flipped so easily.

And that’s when things actually start to change.